btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
