im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
