if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When did angry sex become our thing?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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