she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
