I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
