I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
