i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
