My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
