I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
