Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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