this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
