Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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