how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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