I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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