He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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