Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
