I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
