All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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