I'm drive I can fine osifer
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize