I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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