It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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