There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
