You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
