Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
