Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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