so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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