...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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