I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you traded sex for a burrito?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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