I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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