You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
