i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize