what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
