i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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