Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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