He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Houston, we have a blender
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
