Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You work out of a Hotel?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wear drunk well.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
