4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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