He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
