He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
