This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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