If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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