Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
