For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
