in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize