i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
