it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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