Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
