she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
