do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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