Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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