The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish you could order shots online.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
