singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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