I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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