Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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