Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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