ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
