Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
what day is it and did you see me today?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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