Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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