I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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