youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
now i know why i became what i already was.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
