watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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