omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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