I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
