to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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