The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
