Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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