just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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