My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
