we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
did i walk over a car last night?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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