i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
