You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
