so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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