Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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