Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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