I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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