Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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